My answer is that smothering anything will cause it to die a slow and terrible death. Putting pressure on a relationship to fulfill our ... every need will suffocate the partnership. It’s too much weight for one relationship to hold if we are constantly wanting and needing to know for sure where it is going. I’ve personally been with my husband for 14 years and sometimes we still don’t know where this is going and we still have doubts of whether we made the right choice in partnership. This most likely occurs when we are smothering our relationship with expectation, letting the other become our everything and becoming too dependent on one another for every need: friendship, advice, spiritual guide, therapist, adventurer, co-parent… It’s difficult to wear all of these hats and tell the difference between what’s my responsibility and what’s yours and where the line falls that separates which aspects of my well-being you are liable for. It’s important that we have shared interests but also pursue individual ones too.
I do think that the people around us can change when we start to change our own beliefs and perspectives. I’ve had clients with addict partners who did sessions with me and their partners stopped using! In my own relationship as I step out of my masculine energies and step more into my feminine self, as I focus more on nurturing me and learning to be playful, as I learn how to communicate my intuitive guidance without attachment to whether someone heeds my advice and so on… I see my husband improving. As I step back and allow him the space to do his own thing and I focus intently on me and what I need, he does too! And his own habits and patterns begin changing that I’ve been getting on him about for years. lol. This has to do with energy matching, we attract who is vibrating at the same frequency as us, and as we change our frequency they have to as well, or there will be a separation. In a situation where there is a soul partnership matching of frequencies is more likely and we just have to make sure we don't slip into going down to meet their frequency if we don't see them coming up to meet ours. Trust it will come or that all will be well if it doesn't. Be careful not to take on responsibility for others and make sure to leave abusive situations immediately. But if you have someone who seems to be a soul partner it is best to focus on improving yourself and see if things in the relationship start changing. As for individuals not your partner I’d say it’s best to find the level of relationship you can have with them that is healthy, stay positively focused and don’t let them bring your energy down.