I have written down what I want to manifest and done affirmations for them... but what I want is still not coming like I want it to.
Not only do we need to include mindfulness meditation in our routines for self love, but we also absolutely need to know our truest desires if we want to live a more fulfilling life… and adjust our priorities to suit them.
I just listened to a webinar by Candice Oneida, and in it she mentions the desire spectrum where we have no idea what we want on one side, in the middle we have a lot of desires for things and circumstances in our relationships, living space, work and so on.
Then way on the other end we have our unconscious desires - the ones we are not even aware of yet that are making a difference in what we manifest in our lives.
If I have an unconscious desire for drama (because of it’s familiarity to me) then I will have trouble manifesting healthy, stable relationships and friendships.
If I have an unconscious desire to be ill because it was the only way to get the care I needed growing up it will negatively impact my ability to create the healthiest environment for my physical body to thrive in.
We have to heal these internal imbalances before we can get out of the ruts in which we’ve found ourselves. Some of them we can easily become aware of, some take years of patience, digging in the psyche and effort using tools of cognitive and behavior modification.
Hey, if you thought you’d find any quick fixes you’re inhabiting the wrong planet! Some of these hidden desires we can work with on our own and others we need help with.
To begin identifying your true desires on your own do the Why List exercise below.
Approaching your desires from the perspective of why they are important to you and what you believe they will bring to your life allows you to get more specific in what you want and also remove the box you’ve been putting yourself in by helping you focus on what is really important.
Take the focus away from how this feeling of relief, comfort or love is ‘supposed’ to show up for you and focus instead on the experience that you want your desires to bring you.
What ends up happening is that you open yourself to receiving the relief, comfort and love in a way that you hadn’t imagined possible.
So use the Why List exercise to stop focusing on how you think circumstances need to appear for your desires to be met and instead focus on why you want it.
As you alter the perceptions of the things you thought you wanted you find that gently and gracefully your priorities begin to rearrange themselves to meet your new goals.
Perhaps what you thought you wanted was a successful business as a sole entrepreneur, but realized through the Why List exercise that you’re more inclined to desire collaboration and connection with groups of people.
You might find in the weeks that follow that you begin making new connections to those with the next steps for you that beautifully bridge your old dreams with your new reality.
Also you can say this or something similar to the following prayer every morning as you awaken and every night as you fall asleep.
"Please Universe, guide me to knowing my true desires and reorganize my priorities in my life so that I may be most in service to your divine plan.”
Let go of your plan and surrender to the Divine agenda for your life, be open to changing where your focus has been to gain a new and fresh perspective.
Be aware that you don’t yet know where your priorities are skewed and are holding you back. Trust that by acknowledging that fact you are actually opening up a new level of awareness that is just around the corner for you and will enable you to make the changes you seek.
Why List - An Exercise for Knowing Your True Desires
Looking back over the experiences of the past start here:
- Brain dump - brainstorming all the things you want in this category or area of your life. Think over your past and current experiences in that area of your life (past/ current relationships, former/current jobs, etc.) and write down all the qualities and aspects you liked, adored, wanted more of, enjoyed or longed for. Think of all the things you did not enjoy, or disliked, about your past experiences in this area of your life - do NOT write those down; but, DO focus for a moment on those things which you do not want, and allow them to guide you to identifying further what it is you do want. From each and every thing we identify that we do not like, want or need we can identify at least 5 to 10 more things that we do want to experience - this is the beauty of experiencing contrast in life. With a past relationship, for example, it might be very easy for you to think of all the things you disliked about that person - maybe they were selfish for instance. If you take a moment to think about why that bothered you and what needs were going unmet, you may come up with a long list of qualities that are the opposite of selfish; ie., good listener, validate me, tends to my needs, cares for their own needs in a healthy way, (so as to be able to dedicate energy to the relationship), has had their needs met in a way that allows them to serve others, or has done healing work that allows them to be attentive and nurturing. You could go on and on listing the ways someone was selfish but we don't want to give energy to that which we do not want, so use that negative list to fuel an even longer list of positives.
- Why? - Write down the reasons why you want each of those things on the want list. What does it mean to you? How would you know you had it? Here you are creating a tangible picture of what you want in your mind and therefore moving more into emotions and feelings - which make your desires feel real to the subconscious mind. (If I had security, this and that would be happening, I’d act like this, I’d say things like that, I would have these emotions and be led to do these things, I would be experiencing xyz if I felt secure.) Think about how each area of your life would be different if you had the experience you’re looking for - what they would look like and what they would feel like: family, social, intimacy, relationship, personal, private, health, security, being/having a role model; times of day - sleep, waking up, getting ready, working, school, driving, family time, eating, cooking, bathing, your exercise routine... The key is to really start envisioning it to get into an emotion-oriented space about it all - what would it feel like in each one of those areas?
- Keep your want list as a running list - always adding to it, and amending the things that are on this list. As you progress in your power of attraction enhancement, you will see that you will attract better and better experiences, into your life that match your descriptions. You will also find that with every new, and better experience you will have the opportunity to decipher from the contrast what it is you want even further.